I was terribly tired, and I didn’t even realize when I fell asleep. The only thing I remember is mom gently tapping me to wake me up. But mom wasn’t the same. She was deeply lost in thought about something.
Back when mom had finished her 12th exams and was waiting for the results, a marriage proposal came to my grandfather. It was a good alliance from a well-off family. But at that time, grandpa didn’t want to get her married. He wanted to send her to college. He himself was a good student but didn’t have the means to study further. He completed up to 7th standard and then joined work at a printing press. He has worked in the press ever since.
Eventually, he bought that very press and transformed it into a profitable business. Grandpa never had much interest in a luxurious lifestyle. He built his life little by little through hard work. He was born and raised in a small village, then moved to a nearby town where he worked at the printing press. To get back home after work, he had to walk 15 miles. That’s how hard life was. Eventually, he started staying at the press at night. He ate at the owner’s house and lived a very modest life. Many times he thought about quitting the job, but the owner would always talk him into staying. Over time, he became part of the owner’s family.
Even after all these years, grandpa has always valued education and opportunity.
Then one day, someone approached grandpa with a proposal. In Sivagangai, the district capital, there was a well-known family who owned the SM marriage hall. They were looking for a bride for their youngest son, who worked in Singapore. If the marriage happened, mom would go to Singapore after the wedding. It was a good match—wealthy, respectable, and the groom had a job abroad.
Though grandpa was hesitant, he told them he’d discuss it with the family. Deep down, he felt this could be a good match. But still, the wish to send his daughter to college remained strong. After two days, he shared the proposal with the family.
Grandpa said: “A good alliance has come. The family is decent, wealthy, and the groom is good-matured. If you’re okay with it, I’ll let them know.” Mom was surprised—she hadn’t even thought about marriage yet. Grandma liked the idea and thought of her family deity. Grandpa didn’t like her bringing up those beliefs, but he didn’t say anything to her. Later, they found out the family was indeed the owners of SM marriage hall, and grandma was thrilled.
But mom didn’t know what to do. She wanted to study further and wasn’t ready for marriage. Two days later, when grandpa asked her again, she said, “I don’t know what decision to make.” Grandpa said, “Then I’ll decide.”
They agreed to go ahead and see the groom. The groom’s family came to see mom. She was dressed in a lemon-yellow sarees and looked beautiful. They liked her. The next day, the groom came and liked her too. The families discussed and decided to have the wedding in four months.
Mom’s 12th result came soon after. She scored well and wanted to go to college. The groom’s family knew about this and told her she could study after moving to Singapore. Grandpa agreed and gave his word. While all of mom’s friends were joining college, she was preparing for marriage.
But slowly, communication from the groom’s family started reducing. Grandpa took a while to understand what was happening. When his boss, who considered Seetha (my mom) like his own daughter, heard about it, he became furious. He took grandpa to the groom’s house to confront them. Grandpa didn’t want to go, so he sent his boss alone.
At the groom’s house, they revealed they had decided to marry the boy to a cousin instead. The boss was shocked, said what they did was wrong, and demanded an apology. He came back and explained everything to grandpa, who broke down crying like a child. The boss consoled him.
Now grandpa didn’t know how to break the news to mom and grandma, who were dreaming about the wedding. When he returned home, mom noticed something was off and asked, “Appa, are you okay?” Grandpa just said, “Nothing,” and went to wash his face.
But mom could sense something was wrong. When she asked gently again, grandpa broke down and said, “Forgive me.” Grandma came running and asked what happened. He told them everything. Both mom and grandma cried. For two days, no one spoke properly to each other.
Mom didn’t know what to do next. College seemed out of reach now.
Grandpa continued his usual work routine. When he heard that the Singapore groom’s wedding was on a coming Friday, it hit him hard. That’s when he decided to find another groom for mom. He told his boss, who agreed and encouraged him not to delay.
They found another groom—Vikramaraja. He had a government job and a strong personality. He wasn’t someone who would listen to others easily. Neither grandma nor grandpa liked him much at first. But mom did. And when she agreed, grandpa asked again and again just to be sure. Finally, they agreed, and the wedding happened.
Dad really liked mom. He was enchanted by her beauty. He had only one elder brother and no parents. After the wedding, they bought a new house and moved in. He treated mom like a queen. Her presence brought happiness into his life.
But then a problem arose. They weren’t able to have a child. They went through treatments, visited temples, prayed for years. Slowly, arguments started happening between them. Dad became indifferent to mom’s words. This continued for years.
After 7 years, when mom got pregnant with me, dad prayed for a baby girl. But I was born—a baby boy. Slowly, dad started returning to his old self.
As I grew up, the arguments between mom and dad never stopped. The main reason was dad’s drinking. He even started doubting mom and would physically abuse her. I grew up witnessing all this. Eventually, mom stopped speaking to dad entirely..